Discipline vs. Punishment
Positive discipline: attempts to change behavior while teaching children to choose appropriate alternatives; helps children develop self-control and self-regulation from an intrinsic motivation; encourages children to use reasoning to solve problems; and strengthens the relationship of mutual love and respect between children and their parents(Green, Mays, & Jolivette, 2011).
Punishment: attempts to change behavior by inflicting pain or loss in retribution for an inappropriate behavior; teaches children that they will be punished if they infringe a rule and expects that the fear of punishment will keep them from repeating the offense. Punishment teaches children that violence is an acceptable way of solving problems (Green et al., 2011). |
Reinforcements help promote change in behavior by acting as external motivation. The parents' goal, however, should be to help children gradually move from external motivation towards choosing appropriate behaviors from internal, or intrinsic, motivation (Green et al., 2011). When children reach that point, they will make good choices whether or not adults are watching them.
Positive Reinforcement is the reward and enthusiastic praise/encouragement given as an incentive for appropriate behavior (Carter & Pool, 2012). One example is giving the child a sticker for putting away the toys. It increases the likelihood that the desired behavior will be repeated because the child expects a reward. Negative Reinforcement is the removal of an unpleasant situation that encourages a change in behavior (Carter & Pool, 2012). Here is an example: Eli pours water on himself and feels cold. After his parent stresses how uncomfortable it is to be wet and cold and changes his clothes (removing the cause of discomfort,) Eli will probably not pour water on himself again to avoid feeling cold. Discipline Pitfalls to Avoid: - Hitting, yelling, or threatening you children: remember: fear is not respect. - Being inconsistent with consequences: when consequences are not consistent, children are motivated to keep testing because they just might get away with the behavior. - Setting unrealistic rules and expectations: remember your children's developmental skills and adjust your expectations accordingly. Three year olds are not able to sit still through a two-hour play no matter how much you try to reason with them(McFarland-Piazza & Saunders, 2012). - Failing to clearly communicate your rules and expectations: remember that children do not know what is acceptable and what is not until they have been told. That is particularly true in new places and situations. |
Here is a very informative article written by Dr. Jane Nelsen explaining the benefits of positive discipline: Child Discipline: To Punish or Not Dr. Anita M. Shimizzi writes on how the threat of harsh punishment may encourage children to lie: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: How Punishment Can Affect Children's Honesty |