As we have an inclusive two and three year old classroom with typically developing children as well children with special needs, it is important for you, parents, to be informed and empowered in your parenting efforts. Since challenging behaviors are very common in children this age, these next pages should help you learn about and deal with these behaviors in a healthy, positive, and effective manner.
Why does my child act this way?
Young children are still learning how to become independent and how to successfully make their needs and wishes known. Because they are young, they do not yet have all the skills needed to successfully navigate social interactions. In addition, children with special needs might take longer moving from one developmental stage to another, so parents and caregivers need to know their children well and help them at their own pace (Cochran et al., 2012). There are certain developmental characteristics of two and three year olds that contribute to the challenging behaviors they are displaying at this stage in their lives:
Egocentrism:
Children at this age think and feel as if everyone around them thinks and feels as they do. They are not yet completely able to understand other people's perspectives (Brown & Jernigan, 2012). This self-centered behavior is responsible for their possessive "my toy" and "mine" utterances while grabbing, pushing, and wanting to be first in line.
Short Attention Span:
At this stage, children are curious and inquisitive. There is just so much to do and to see in the world, and sitting still or waiting for something can be difficult. When an activity is interesting to them, they may spend a little longer engaged in it. However, if it is adult-imposed, too long, or it happens when they are tired or hungry, most children will lose interest quickly and move on to something else.
Limited Language Skills:
Although their language skills are blooming, young children do not have the sophisticated language skills needed to express their frustrations and emotions accurately and successfully. In addition, their special needs might delay their language development even further and place them developmentally behind their peers, which can add to their frustration (Cochran et al., 2012).
Impulsivity:
The prefrontal cortex of their brains is still developing the pathways that lead to self-control (Brown & Jernigan, 2012). Through guidance and consistency, parents can help children build these pathways as they grow to become independent and increasingly less impulsive.
Children at this age think and feel as if everyone around them thinks and feels as they do. They are not yet completely able to understand other people's perspectives (Brown & Jernigan, 2012). This self-centered behavior is responsible for their possessive "my toy" and "mine" utterances while grabbing, pushing, and wanting to be first in line.
Short Attention Span:
At this stage, children are curious and inquisitive. There is just so much to do and to see in the world, and sitting still or waiting for something can be difficult. When an activity is interesting to them, they may spend a little longer engaged in it. However, if it is adult-imposed, too long, or it happens when they are tired or hungry, most children will lose interest quickly and move on to something else.
Limited Language Skills:
Although their language skills are blooming, young children do not have the sophisticated language skills needed to express their frustrations and emotions accurately and successfully. In addition, their special needs might delay their language development even further and place them developmentally behind their peers, which can add to their frustration (Cochran et al., 2012).
Impulsivity:
The prefrontal cortex of their brains is still developing the pathways that lead to self-control (Brown & Jernigan, 2012). Through guidance and consistency, parents can help children build these pathways as they grow to become independent and increasingly less impulsive.
Knowing where your children are developmentally should help you better understand their behaviors. Young children with special needs certainly need guidance to learn what appropriate and acceptable behaviors are. You are your children's primary role models, and they depend on your love and assistance to develop the necessary skills to become independent and self-controlled people.